On Aging…

I’ve wanted to articulate my thoughts about age for a while, and today, feeling in a particularly pissy mood, seems to be the time. Let no one accuse me of not knowing time and place XD.

A pet peeve of mine is people who lie about their age. Wanting to not divulge your age is fine – that’s your prerogative  however to deliberately obfuscate for god knows what reason (well I guess I know the reason..shame. It’s often shame) rattles my cage. I think less of you and I think you’re an ungrateful twat. Harsh? Maybe…But after having been suddenly hospitalized and having to face my immediate mortality I’ve been made extremely grateful for every day I tick off on my calendar. I’ve always toyed and ruminated on my mortality but the screeching prospect of it is something the abstract can’t ever really prepare you for. Since this realization I have been guilty of taking days for granted, sure, but I’ve never been anything less than proud of being one of the survivors of every single hour as the world turns.
I think age is a badge. You’ve avoided numerous life-ending traps today; you’ve added to your stock-pile of thoughts and experiences (hopefully XD). You ought to be proud. Of course the seductive-ness of youth is constantly being hammered into us, and the visible signs of aging make us nostalgic for that period when it was ‘better’. There’s nothing like the numerous aches, pains and sudden ailments that come with aging, to make you long to be young again, but barring a time machine, why deny the present and not embrace it? Be the best version of you right now.

My other related pet peeve is people using age as an excuse to check out from current events. How many times have I heard ‘oh I’m too old for that <insert technology>/music/event’. Yes, tastes evolve and yes, you don’t have to be ‘into’ popular culture, but you don’t get to use age as an excuse for laziness, your busy life or lack of interest.

I was brought up in a culture where we’re taught that your elders always know best. I found out early on this wasn’t true, but I realised we’ll (hopefully) one day all be elders ourselves, so there’s no reason to think the elderly are particularly ‘icky’ or to indiscriminately disrespect them. Ageism has all forms, and the young aren’t exempt. Youths are thought of as naive, inexperienced, not worth listening to, and basically the reason the world is going to wrack and ruin. I confess I shared *some* of the negative perceptions of today’s young people especially in my early 20s, however I’ve recently been interacting with young people on the internet (mostly via MFC), and there is tremendous hope. Some of these girls are way more together and insightful than I ever was at their age. And I’m not saying that because they’re obviously possessed of great taste by being on MFC XD. Through the same medium of the internet I’ve also whittled away at any  ‘uncool older’ stereotype I may have had.

So yes, stop telling everyone you’re 21 for the tenth year in a row! And try to take care of yourself – physically and mentally. It’s a possibility that our raison d’etre might simply be to learn more everyday. Don’t waste it. Plus what better compliment is there than stating your actual age and having someone say ‘but you look so much younger!’ 😀

On really, really, REALLY disturbing movies

Hmmm it’s weird that I haven’t blogged for a while even though I have more ‘free time’ now more than before…but moving on!

So I found this list of the 50 most disturbing movies ever via my good and fellow morbid friend :). I found it intriguing because I had surprisingly only seen about 8 on that entire list. As a self-professed connoisseur of different and definitely disturbing films you can imagine how disturbed I was to find these many films had escaped my attention (see what I did there XD). I resolved to rectify by watching all the other movies on the list I thought worthy of checking out.

NB: Be warned that you might not want to ever see any of these films..ever…even the ones I would recommend. These are only the films I’ve seen thus far.

Let’s start with the ones I would recommend –

Se7en – if you like serial killer movies with a twist and a deep personal choice that you can’t help but ask yourself, then this is one for you. The mood and the acting by big names Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, Gwyneth Paltrow and Kevin Spacey is spot on. This is a film i’ve seen quite a few times and it never gets old.
The Exorcist – Not quite sure why this is on the list, as I don’t find it especially disturbing, maybe because the genre had advanced so much by the time I finally got around to seeing this. It was definitely groundbreaking, however and has great atmosphere. It’s a classic anyways, so give it a watch.
Clockwork Orange – ok ok I confess – I haven’t seen this movie in its entirety, I was sleepy and nodded off. So why am I recommending it? The bits I saw were disturbing indeed, more in moral implications than in gore or anything tangible. Andy McDowell is amazing and it’s a classic. Speaking of And,y if you want to see him in another more-deserved- of- the- title ‘distubing’ movie – check him out in Caligua. I have no idea why it’s not on this list.
Night and Fog – this is an old documentary in french (with english subtitles) about the holocaust and you can see it for free on Youtube. The images are graphic in spite of the grainy-ness and it’s to be suffered through, even though it’s only 30 minutes. Everyone should see this, it’s a lesson, a warning and a wake-up.
I Spit on your grave – the version in this list is the original, but I’ve only seen the 2010 remake. It has its gruesome moments and is more ‘mainstream’ than some of the other films on this list, but it’s torture-porn/revenge done right with a great ending so if you wanted a little relief after some of the other films, watch this.
Irreversible – I debated about adding this to the recommended ones but I had to. It’s a french movie (find a version with subtitles) told backwards about a rape in Paris and the consequences. The first 20 minutes are reeeaally hard on the senses, a combination of the crazy camera work, the audio and the snatches of imagery which culminates in a brutally graphic killing. Stick with it though and it gets to a more tolerable pace, though about half way we’re shown the rape – all 10 minutes of it – from an unflinching view. I fast forwarded. After that we’re left to ponder and think as things get a little more mundane. I think it’s one of the best films to deal with rape in a most brutally honest but non-exploitative way. So I would recommend it, but be prepared to close your eyes.

Recommended, depending on…

Hostel – This is well known and amped up the torture gore factor in the mid 2000s. Some people like it, some don’t. It definitely has it’s gorey moments, but is kinda thin on plot and acting. Watch if you’re curious, but I prefer the sequel, so maybe check that out after if you want.

Natural Born Killers – When this came out in 1994 it was hugely controversial and has been reported to have inspired real-life incidents. When I saw it during the late 90s it left a huge impression, it was the most violent film I had seen thus far. I’ve seen it a few times since and I think it has a lot of layers and great cinematic style, but only watch if you don’t mind the quirky style and extreme violence (though to be fair I can think of a good lot more recent movies that are more violent)

Kill List- this one was different…crossing many genres and ending with a twist. I really enjoyed the beginning, especially the dialogue, but I felt cheated and a bit ‘wtf-y’ at the end. After googling what other people thought was the point of the movie, I appreciated it a bit more, but still felt ‘unfulfilled’. It’s really not that disturbing, especially in the scheme of this list, but it will stick with you I’m sure.

Happiness – This one is a dark comedy with fun themes like pedophilia, rape, murder etc. There’s almost no onscreen nudity or violence. Everything is more implied, and boy is it disturbing as hell! It’s excellently acted and directed and I would have recommended for all, except not everyone could handle its pacing or the characters.

Antichrist – This has no relation to the satanic horror film, but is instead about a couple’s grieving and loss. And how the shit then hits the fan. The first half is pretty ponderous (thought there’s a brilliant opening scene), then the second half is populated by weird things and acts, including homemade surgery. The director made this movie in the throes of depression and it shows in some searingly authentic scenes. The imagery is amazing but the acting and plot are so-so at best. It’s one of those movies you’d love or hate, so watch if you like artsy disturbing films, but look out for that surgery!

Martyrs – This movie starts off as a ‘typical’ Japanese style ghost/monster film and descends into something else entirely. I don’t want to give away anything but this is a movie you’ll never forget, partly because of imagery and partly for the ending. It’s pretty brilliant that way actually…

A Serbian Film – Banned in several countries and probably the most controversial of the 21st century films on this list. This is not for the regular movie goer, or even the regular gore-fan. There is extreme sexual violence and baby rape (yes you read that right). The director said it was a metaphor for what Serbia as a coutry has had to endure. Whatever. Seems thin to me, but there’s an obvious meaning about money, corruption and sexual perversion that doesn’t have to be searched for. I saw the edited version which just showed enough thank you. I see no reason for there to be anything more graphic, the implications are enough, and there’s plenty graphic-ness in any case. I was feeling morally equitable at the ending, then the last 10 seconds ruined it! This one is a doozer…watch at own risk.

DO NOT recommend!

Cannibal Holocaust – I had never heard of this 1980 movie until 2007 when I watched it. I never need to watch it ever again. There is a bit of story to it – some filmmakers go into the amazon to film cannibalistic tribes and themselves  perpetuate atrocities. It’s also the first ‘lost footage’ type film that has become popular recently. My main beef with it (which could be a good thing I guess) is that it’s too realistic. It was so realistic the Italians thought the Director had murdered his crew for real and ordered an investigation! Every disturbing scene,  including actual animal killings, will stay with you for the rest of your life, so think hard before you think to watch.

Salo or 120 days of Sodom – At least Cannibal Holocaust had a story, even if it could’ve been told less graphically..but often life is indeed bloody and graphic. So I won’t say don’t ever watch it, just be prepared for the consequences. Now THIS movie. It has no story (only in the loosest sense) and no redeeming qualities.

It’s based on the book of the same name written by the infamous Marquis de Sade in 17th century France, but is transported to WW II Italy. The entire story is that 4 evil men kidnap some boys and girls, keep them in a mansion and do all sorts of hideousness to them. Honestly the gore, violence or sexuality isn’t that overt or even ‘impressive’. I’ve seen way worse torture scenes and more graphic sex scenes. It was just the whole pointless unecessary-ness of it. I can understand the Marquis’ book being valuable for it’s history and the fact that the full range of human depravity being relatively un-chronicled back then. Now we have the mainstream – Law and Order SVU, for example – and the less so- the films on this list –  to show and remind us of these things, and done in a better way. Salo is not a piece of art, nor a film that needed to be made. Doesn’t need to be seen either, so skip this one.